still do not get used to going well, I can not even think or move naturally. I feel as if another person .... be many days with a tube through the mouth into the stomach, connected to a ke makina toward strange sounds and serum ..... open your eyes in that dark room full of beds of people who are so save, very old people who had the same look decadent than mine, intubated and unable to move. I was frightened, did not know how or because they had the tubes and how he got there and had to be hospital pajamas.
not remember almost anything, just remember being very very angry with my brother and my mother and was jugandor Lineage, desaogué with Medion and I told him that long because I could not stand it. I went to my room and took 32 antidepressant pills and heart and I put them all in your mouth at once and I relaxed a lot, I began to write on a sheet and everything felt DSPU, I put the Beatles Free Song as a Bird and drew and wrote the phrase in the drawing, Ana came to my room to ask if I wanted to go to a Chinese dinner after going to the theater and told him no, that I had taken a pill to relax and not I had wanted. It's the only thing I remember. They told me that i was about to have died and only in my dreams constantly remind the phrase "DO NOT SLEEP, DO NOT PLEASE GO to sleep" but I just remember his voice.
before yesterday mand removed the tube from the nose into the stomach and had muchisisisisimo scared because I did not remember if that hurt me or not, as it were ..... ..... VERY VERY BAD, it took me two pulls, on 1 I felt almost nothing, but the 2nd gave me muchisisisisisisimo disgust mainly because everything was black expelled, was poisoned from within. Then I was visited by my brothers, my sister, my mother, and Isidro parents encouraged me a lot but at the same time I was ashamed and felt like I mourn, Ana gave me a stuffed squirrel that made me pretty company, and my mother a Hello Kitty bracelet. My brother also told me that Nacho estubo, and Isidro visited me twice, but I do not remember anything, I just rememberI hollows full of impossible dreams, girls fancy appearance between divine and smiling and blowing bubbles of fantasy, fairies with keys dangling over her small breasts, and my drawing as an expressionless doll seated on a throne made of tree branches and flowers with pink hair who held several strands branches. Everything was really beautiful but hollow, I came to nothing, and soon showed them proud and happy.
I started drawing again with the same melody of Free as a Bird to listen to the last time before downing the pills, and made the most beautiful drawing I made in my life, I was surprised muchisisisimo was myself a impossible hair, silver hair, a corset with black feathers and flowery skirtsFeather also giving the feeling of being the tail of a bird, my arms full of scales like birds' feet, and looked blankly had more stuck on my arm .... and a huge bird with Fenix open wings, the bottom is full of phrases that are engraved in my memory without remembering the image, and a dismissal at myself, I know that my life has changed a lot now ... and will never be the same.
Anyway I can only get better and cheer a little ... I'm so sorry what had happened ....
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